You're sleepy, broke and run off your feet - welcome to the glory years that are your early twenties. The first few years of a whole decade of pretending like you know what you're doing.
However, never fear – as daunting as becoming a grown-up may seem (especially when the idea of being an overgrown, slightly hairier teenager sounds so damn appealing) it can actually be the best of fun when you set your mind to it.
Here are 21 things you'll for sure recognise if you've recently hit your early twenties in Dublin's fair city.
1. Hangovers are real and should be feared
Long gone are the days of mild headaches and slight fatigue – now we have to deal with feeling hit by a train the morning after the night before. And it only gets worse apparently.
Still not going to stop drinking though, in fairness.
2. Your nights out end up at 10am in Slattery's or Ned's
And you're not sure whether you hate yourself or love the craic all a bit too much.
3. Or even worse, Bluebell
Your ever so slightly richer than your poverty-filled student days of eating beans on beans, which now means that after parties anywhere are a-go.
4am taxi back to some gaf in Lucan? You bet your bollocks I'm in.
4. You avoid going out mid-week out of pure fear you’ll shift an 18 year old
Avoid Temple Bar, Harcourt Street and anywhere that's free in.
You've been warned.
5. The music is too damn loud in San Lorenzo's
This is because of two things:
- You're getting older.
- Refer to reason #1.
6. You don’t trust people who look hot at 8am on Grafton Street
Must work in BT's.
7. You don’t trust people who look hot in their profile picture
Where can I find that lighting? Are they using filters? They must be on beds.
8. You don’t trust people your age who are minted
9. Fianna Fáil politicians are your age and younger
They're keen to run the country while you still laugh when someone says the word 'erected'.
10. You're no longer fluent in teenage Dublinese
What on Earth is a wetser?
11. Half of the kids in Stellar magazine are younger than you
They’re all going to turn out mental anyway, so it’s grand.
12. Networking is both gross and grossly necessary
Do I fuck want to go to The Marker to meet you and your 'company bros' for drinks.
13. You have ‘a drink’ and 'a pub'
Whether it’s the Guinness in Kehoe's or the gin and tonic in The Grafton Lounge, you rarely deviate from the norm and you stick to it all night, or God so help you you’ll be in a world of pain tomorrow.
14. Maturity is a myth
You will always laugh when someone asks you 'how's your hoop?'.
15. You start to sympathise with your aul pair
Youths are AWFUL and people deserve medals for dealing with them.
16. Parents are cool and are still two steps ahead
Including the art of jiving, courting and which pharmacist will sort you out without prescription.
17. You’ve started to realise that all children's movies have questionable morals and dirty, dirty one-liners
Still haven't realised this? See for yourself.
I'm so sorry.
18. You start to get ‘pains and aches’ and they aren’t a big deal
And no, not just the ones in your knees after a vigorous night of aforementioned jiving in Coppers.
19. Your meaning of the word ‘sexy’ has completely changed
You now know it’s someone who is sound to your dog and still fancies you when you when you're knee deep in Tribeca wings.
19. You're still shite at budgeting
It's grand. Sure so are politicians.
20. You're less harsh on yourself, and about bloody time
If you were 18 and were still wearing O'Neills, you’d be thinking about it all day. Now you’re absolutely killin' it, regardless of your ridiculous outfit choices.
21. And finally, you're not 100% where you're going, but you're on your way
Just do your best not to shift teenagers or step in dog shit in Phoenix Park and you're half way there.