Every year we swear upon our abnormally pale pinkies that we are never, NEVER, going to spend St.Patrick’s Day in town again.
The crowds, the noise, the queue at every single goddamn bar: It’s too much.
But for some reason, some still unknown annoyingly patriotic Irish reason – we waltz on into the city centre with our green facepaint time and time again to join in the tourists and celebrate the man who got rid of schnakes from the isle.
Every year we have these exact thoughts rush through our brains, and we’re betting on the man in green himself that you do too.
1. Maybe town won’t be too full this year?
2. Shit ok, road closure. I’ll just get off the bus here…
3. Sure it won’t take long to walk
4. I’ll practically stroll to the pub
5. Dear Lord save me
6. Why are there so many people? Why aren’t they moving?!
7. Get out of my way tall man dressed as leprechaun
8. Actually, that leprechaun guy is kinda sexy
9. Is that wrong? Are leprechauns allowed to be considered sexy?
10. Oh who cares – just keep elbowing your way through
11. Almost there, almost there
12. GET OUT OF MY WAY GREEN-FACED TOURISTS
13. This will all be worth it once I get to the pub
14. Yep, a nice pint of the black stuff for me
15. Maybe even some bacon bites
16. It’s a national holiday gurl you deserve those bacon bites
17. Ok keep thinking of the bacon-y motivation
18. Feck it, I’m cutting through Temple Bar
19. How bad can it be? They’ll all be inside it’s lashing out
20. Shit shit shit. Bad idea
21. Is that vomit green?!
22. OMG it’s green
23. I’m actually kind of impressed? I mean it’s only 12pm
24. Maybe it’s the remains of a Shamrock Shake
25. Or apple shots
26. Yep, definitely apple shots
27. Ok almost here
28. And by almost I mean juuuust past this stag group
29. No you fool I do NOT want to “pog your thoin”
30. Ugh drunken people on Paddy’s Day are the worst
31. Apart from me obviously
32. I will be a GREAT drunk today
33. I defo won’t get too tipsy though – just a few pints, and then home
34. Ah YAAAS I see you Mr.Pub
35. Mr.Pub why do you look so busy
36. This does not look too promising
37. But hey, my friends said they saved me a seat
38. I hope it’s near the bar but not too near y’know
39. Ok lemme just push through here
40. Genuine Irish coming through folks! Make way make way
41. Jaysus this pub is absolutely jammers
42. There’s no way this was worth the trek through town
43. Feck this – I’ll stay for just the one and leave
44. Yep, just a quick hello and a cheers and then buh-bye
45. Town is so grim on Paddy’s Day
46. Why do people even bother coming in?
47. Ah there’s my mates
48. Aww they even got a drink for me already
49. Shite now it’s rude if I leave after this one
50. I better get the guys a drink back in the next round
52. That is some GOOD beer
53. So good I might have just the one more
54. Sure don’t we only celebrate once a year?
55. Feckit I’ll stay for the evening
56. Won’t be a late one mind
*4.30am in Coppers*