The Ultimate List Of Party-Friendly Naggins, Ranked In Order From Worst To Best

It’s an important time in a young Irish person’s life when they acquire their first naggin. Fast forward a decade or so and we’re still at it, buying one on a night out just in case.

So here’s our definitive ranking of the best and worst naggins on the market for you guys – so that the next time you make a trip to the offy, you don’t have to worry about thinking. Just naggins.

19. Rushkinoff

If any of you happened to be in Ibiza, Magaluf or any of the nearby Balearic islands between the years ’08-’15, you will have noticed, purchased, and suffered Rushkinoff.

Originally marketed at just €4 a litre, (yes, cheaper than some waters) Rushkinoff was known for its two headed eagle label and paint-stripper consistency.

It was also the reason you had a chest infection for the rest of the summer. Well. According to the Mail anyhow.

18. Tamova

Aldi’s finest. A grand vodka for an inexpensive night out, but a touch watery at 37.5% without much flavour to compensate.

Yet another cheap vodka that insists on having red and translucent as its colour scheme. For some godforsaken reason.

17. Chekov

Far more popular in the UK than here, Chekov is a handy under-eight-euro beverage that ticks all the right boxes but will give leave you with a 9.5 on the hangover scale the next morning.

This, mixed with Boost, will send your hangover into outer space.

16. Jägermeister

Yes, this can be the exact right thing you need on a certain night out, we won’t dispute that.

Buuuuut, who the fuck buys a naggin of the stuff?

15. Bacardi

Bit grim also, but the lack of red on the label makes it look less immoral and more drinkable.

Plus, drinking rum makes you feel like a pirate.

14. Powers

Powers Gold Label is the best selling Irish whiskey in Ireland. Full-bodied and tasty AF, Powers is a one-stop taste explosion which only falls down in its sheer intensity… and its ability to make you spew if you’re not used to the stuff.

Also, you will smell like a brewery for days after.

13. Kinsey/Tesco Value Vodka

Okay, not technically naggins, but they’re as cheap as naggins so we thought we’d throw them in.

Please consider your organs when purchasing either of the two. Both will make everything in your existence ache, with the sole exception of your back account.

12. Glen’s Vodka

About as bottom shelf as you can get without actually being on the ground.

The slogan written atop the cap makes bold claims of being ‘THE EXCITING VODKA’, presumably because anyone buying such hooch plans to drink it all in one sitting, leading to some wonderful memories, or lack thereof.

11. Captain Morgan

The general public don’t have much to say about Captain Morgan – take from that what you will.

It’s mild and full of caramel/vanilla tones. Easy drinking. Also has a saucy Jesus Son of God-esque man fronting the campaign. 6/10.

10. Huzzar

Boasting huge(ly surprising) availability, you can get Huzzar in the nook and cranny of every corner shop from here to Termonfeckin.

Bonus point: Sounds very similar to ‘HUZZAH’, which basically gives you an excuse to cheers your drink at every opportunity.

9. Hennessy

Everything about Hennessy is elegant. Its woody taste and and proper boldness will warm your tummy on colder days.

Also, just saying the word Cognac is classy.

8. Smirnoff

Everyone’s go to vodski, when they have a tenner.

It speaks volumes for the brand that in Ireland, the words ‘Smirnoff’ and ‘vodka’ are interchangeable. While it may not be amongst the most exciting of the bunch, Smirnoff will never let you down – and try it with passionfruit juice to really bring it up to its full potential.

7. Buckfast

We’ve all heard the rhyme, and this tonic wine certainly does get you fucked fast.

A niche market to say the least, Buckfast is the Marmite of the scauldy drinks world. It has been described as having almost supernatural powers of destruction, and featured on almost every 16-year-old boy’s Bebo skin between the years ’06 – ’09. A real crowd pleaser.

6. Southern Comfort

Suddy is a flavoursome drink which is most often enjoyed with Diet Coke, ‘Red’ or just with a lime.

Love it or hate it, it’s super refreshing – and due to its sweet taste, it’s easier to drink than most whiskeys. Ideal for an all-night gaf party.

5. Two Trees

Two Trees comes in Vodka, Poitín and Gin. The voddy is drinkable with a ‘delicate pepper’ aftertaste, the gin’s got a tasty coriander kick and the poitín is… well, gas for everyone involved.

Solid.

4. Cork Dry Gin

If you’ve bought some Cork Dry for your night out, shit’s getting real. You’re either going to lose your shit in a classy G&T way, or you’re stashing it in your hotel room of the wedding you’re at for later with your conquest.

Either way, we applaud you, you big sophisticated yoke.

3. Brian Boru

Nothing like a naggin to bring out the patriotism within you like a phoenix from the ashes.

The vodka’s website states: ‘Boru Vodka was inspired by Brian Boru, the visionary high king responsible for driving foreign invaders from Ireland’s shores. The honesty and strength of Brian Boru is reflected in Boru Vodka’s craftsmanship and quality.’

Mighty. Just mighty.

2. Jack Daniels

Jack Daniels has a creamy, smoky caramel type taste to it and always goes down perfectly with cola – even the cheap shit.

A perfect alternative to your cheap vodka night out, JD goes great with barbecued meats, if having fun is your kinda thing.

Better still, it’s found all around the globe.

1. Absolut

We have a winner! And a classy winner at that.

Absolut has the rare, rare quality of triple distillation, yet still lies on the cheaper side of things. Much smoother than its competitors, boasting a whole range of flavours (anything from Mango to Wild Tea) to choose from, Absolut can be enjoyed absolutely anywhere.

It’s 40% and has a slick, glam design that assures you that you won’t be the messy one at the party. Jackpot.

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