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I’m Going To Try Lose 2.5 Stone In 12 Weeks Without Going To The Gym

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Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Apart from everything. Like a grilled cheese with jalapeno peppers and sriracha hot sauce. (The proper grilled cheese where you place two slices of bread butter side down on a pan and fry till golden, flip them over and the two golden sides are now the INSIDE of this sandwich from heaven, top one side with cheddar, montgomery jack, mozzarella and Jalapenos, close it over and then fry both sides until you have a crispy, cheesy, spicy square of delightfulness). But yea, healthy is great too.

In the last eighteen months I gained 2.5 stone. That’s 16kg. That’s 16 bags of sugar. About how much I was consuming on a monthly basis presumably. Without really realising it, my weight was increasing and my love of exercise was diminishing to a big sad zero.

So my aim is to get back into shape but instead of going to a gym, I want to get out and experience all the amazing places we have on our doorstep here in Ireland combined with a healthier diet. I’ll run, walk, hike, cook and hopefully enjoy it all and lose some weight at the same time.

My goals are:

– Lose 2.5 stone

– Rediscover the gra for cooking in the kitchen

– Get out and about and discover some outdoor activities

– Reduce my overall alcohol intake

A few months back I looked around for inspiration to get back in shape and found a lot of really sage and motivational suggestions like ‘Instead of having a double cheeseburger with bacon, why not have a glass of boiling water with freshly squeezed lemon instead. Um, because Karen I‘d probably silently eat my own hands under the duvet in the middle of the night to stave of the hunger pangs till breakfast whereupon a horrified girlfriend would uncover my bloody stumps come morning and my only explanation is ‘Karen said lemon in her blog.’

The alternative was instagram accounts of influencers looking ripped and bronzed loving life in the gym. That’s brilliant for them or for people already in shape looking for some tips but when you’re out of shape it makes you want to reach for those family boxes of Tayto that only seem to surface at Christmas.

So I decided to go on my own little journey and document it. You see I love food. I used to love exercising. I used to love cooking but around 18 months ago I went from the freelance world into the full time 9-5 role and along the way cooking in the kitchen became a chore, exercise was quickly pushed aside and eventually forgotten about and as I hit 35 my weight began to increase and my overall happiness began to decrease. Physical activity is nature’s anti-depressant and a natural way to pump all those good chemicals through your body and I began to feel the effects of a sedentary lifestyle.

My aim is to get into a sustainable routine. I’m not really a believer of going cold turkey when it comes to fitness because mostly it’s not sustainable. Sure, you can give up chocolate or alcohol for a month or two but inevitably, for the most part we’ll eventually give up giving up which then feels like a loss. Instead I’m going to try limit all the things I love that are not particularly healthy.

Instead of eating take away three times a week, I’ll reduce to one.

Instead of eating three bags of Tayto whilst WAITING FOR THE KETTLE TO BOIL FOR A CUP OF TEA (!) – I’ll have a bag at the weekend (wavering perilously close to the hot water and lemon advice lady there)

I’ll post some videos, write some words and show some recipes. I’ve got my little helper Penny – an Australian kelpie. She doesn’t need to lose weight. She’s fine just as she is. But I suspect by her sometimes disappointed glances whilst out walking her overall happiness would increase if I could run for the entire 5k rather than having twenty rest stops. I’m trying Penny.

Penny Elijah

So come along with me on this journey. Maybe we’ll lose some weight. Maybe we’ll lose the ability to fully control our limbs as a result of doing zero exercise to a twice daily workout and walk around the office saying things like ‘Oh be the lord me legs,’ as we descend the stairs to make morning coffee before having to explain to colleagues the reason we’re walking like this is because what we lack in a level headed approach to a workout regime we make up for in truck loads of gumption. Maybe we’ll lose our way and wake up in a Tayto induced blackout in the back of nan’s wardrobe where it’s dark but safe. Or maybe we’ll make some delicious but healthy food, get out and about and discover our amazing little country and lose some weight and improve our lives as we move.

So until then why not substitute that naughty craving with a glass of boiling water and a sumptuously squeezed lemon.

READ MORE: Nine Of The Very Best Vegan Dishes In Dublin

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