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20th Dec 2016

Potato Tents, Gorillas And The Flesh Of Marty Morrissey: Here’s What We Overheard At Bloom Today

Alana Laverty

Over 100,000 people are expected to trek to Phoenix Park this weekend for the 10th birthday of the wonderful Bloom festival.

There’s nothing funnier than the snippets of conversations you hear as you’re weaving, and pushing your way through the throngs.

And honestly, the characters you meet at Bloom are exceptional. Great vibes. 

“But I wanted to see Marty. Marty in the flesh.”

Glad to see I wasn’t the only one there to get a glimpse of our national treasure. 

“Jesus, this wine is definitely from Aldi.”

Cheap and cheerful I say.

“It’s not about whether you actually like the garden or not. It’s about whether it looks good in a photo.”

Said one photographer to another. Fair.

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“Fuck me, it’s Enda Kenny!”

Even I fangirled.

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A soliddddd pic to show Granny. 

“What’s a hummus?”

Oh not much, JUST A GIFT FROM GOD. 

“Mammy! It’s a potato tent!”

Yes, a tent entirely for spuds. Only at Bloom…

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“Ah cmon, you couldn’t swing a feckin’ cat in here.”

Heard from the portaloo next to mine. She wasn’t wrong. Though why anyone wants to swing cats is beyond us.

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“I was going to give her a bollocking about weeding, but it’ll have to wait ’til tomorrow now.”

And what a bollocking that will be.

“No John, the free beer is DEFINITELY this way.”

(She was wrong).

“They’re fuckin’ gorillas!”

Overheard at the winning garden inspired by Tarzan no less. Pretty flippin’ cool.

“In a little less wild way this reminds me of Electric Picnic.”

One daughter told her mom. Yeahhhh right.

“I’m taking them to the BT Young Scientist expo next, they can’t escape as easily there.”

Said one teacher to another. 

Dead right.

“Maura would give an ARM AND A LEG for this garden.”

Classic Maura.

And finally: “Oh my god, are we on the northside?!”

Ah here.

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So there you go.

The things you’ll over hear, and the people you’ll meet along the way, is reason enough to go. 

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