13 Signs You’re Dealing With The Aftermath of the 12 Pubs of Christmas

So despite your protestations, your friends somehow succeeded in dragging you out on a 12 Pubs of Christmas pub crawl last night and now your life is in absolute tatters. We know, we know, you thought they were tacky, and had sworn off them since the 12 Pubs massacre of 2013. However, you inevitably gave in to peer pressure and now you’re suffering the consequences. Granted, you probably only made it to six pubs and a chipper but here are some of the feelings and thoughts you may be experiencing today…

13. Upon waking your first instinct is to Google ‘Can you die from a hangover?’

12. There’s a half eaten kebab by your bed, and the smell of it is turning your stomach.

11. Some random person texts you saying it was lovely to meet you, and asks if you’d like to go for a drink during the week. CUE ULTIMATE FEAR!

10. The only way you feel safe is lying in the foetal position in your onesie.

9. You keep being tagged in photos you have no recollection of, with a Christmas tie wrapped around your head.

8. You have no idea where your wallet/coat/Christmas jumper/life is.

7. Texts from friends are flooding in being like ‘You were SO funny last night!’ – I mean, like, is that good funny, bad funny?

6. There’s makeup imprints on the shoulders of any items of clothes you managed to bring home.

5. Your stomach is so unsettled that that you can’t even keep water down.

4. You’re too afraid to check your bank balance, and you’re supposed to be out doing all your Christmas shopping today.

3. You consult your friends as to your whereabouts from 1am onwards hoping to retrace your steps, and thus what club or pub you should contact about your missing belongings.

2. You frequently check the time on your phone, hoping that it’s just magically the time when the Chinese opens so you can get a spice bag and cure this horrid feeling once and for all.

1. Someone asks if you’re heading out again tonight, and for a brief second you actually consider it, but deep down you know bed is the only place you’re able for tonight.