9 Times Food In Dublin Seriously Needed To Calm The Fuck Down

Dublin has only gone and bloody lost it in terms of tricks, treats and colossal meals of mental proportions. And we have to admit, we kinda love it.

Here’s a small selection to show you that we are not exaggerating, and that everyone in fact has let their imaginations run wild.

Disclaimer: Stay the fuck away from these places if you’re trying to ‘be good’.

1. The Notorious 32” @ Pinheads

Before you ask, yes this is the biggest pizza in Ireland, and to be fair, €32 is pretty bloody decent.

But for the sake of this article… LOOK AT THE SIZE OF IT, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO NEED.

2. Deep-fried Mars Bars @ Various

Originally a Scottish delicacy, deep-fried mars bars have made a running hop, skip and a jump across the Irish Sea only to spread their artery clogging wings all along the Emerald Isle.

Rumour has it these babies actually have 1,000+ calories per bar. We’re not even going to do the maths on that one.

3. Absolutely everything @ Sweet Republic

And no, we’re not being ridiculous.

Outrageous carry on.

LOOK AT THEM.

4. Spice n’ Rice’s Phall Curry

Ireland’s hottest curry.

Now to put this into perspective, your average supermarket chilli varies in strength somewhere between 500 and 3,000 Scoville units. The chilli used in Phall is called ‘The ghost chilli’, clocking in at more than a million Scoville units. (*gets calculator out again*)

NO NEED. ABSOLUTELY NO NEED.

5. #PORNBURGER @ Cleaver East

On the first of every month, a new #Pornburger is created at Cleaver East – as voted by Lovin Dublin readers – and you can vote in this month’s pairing here.

So far we’ve had everything from Bolognese flavoured Beef to Melted Crozier Blue Cheese to Red Velvet Pancake Burger Buns and everything in between.

Absolute madness.

• READ: 43 Photos Of Burgers That Will Make You Really Want To Eat A Burger Tonight

6. The Jawbreaker @ Aussie BBQ

Named as such because of the sheer fucking size of it. Also made with ‘bacon-naise’.

Absolute bang of notions off this one.

7. Boat of Sushi @ Tippenyaki, Rathmines

Served in a boat. A BOAT.

Now as you know, we’ve already expressed our distaste at the serious drought of plates we’ve seen in Dublin in recent months, but this takes the biscuit. Or the sushi, whichever you’d prefer.

• READ: Man V. Food: Dublin Edition

8. Aungier Danger

Filthy, filthy delicious American Police-worthy doughnuts, that when eaten too quickly could probably kill a man out of pure sugar excitement.

9. The Munchy Box

To everywhere who stocks the anything-but-humble Munchy Box, we admire your commitment to all things beige, but we also think you need to chill the fuck out.

READ NEXT: Taking The Doughnut Craze To The Next Level – Here’s The $100 Gold Encrusted Doughnut.