There comes a point for us all when we realise life has just been a big, long con – and that adults spent a vast proportion of our childhoods feeding us either lies or nonsense.
And now, it’s time to pull the world up on some of these oddities, inconsistencies and falsehoods.
1. Where are the toys in cereal gone?
When did that stop being a thing? And WHY?
2. Why didn’t one-penny-sweets turn into one-cent-sweets?
The economy doesn’t matter when all you want are jellies.
3. When will they stop increasing the price of Freddos?
4. Does cutting your hair actually make it grow longer?
5. And do crusts really make your hair curly?
Or is it all a lie, like how broccolis are baby trees.
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6. What on Earth were The Morbegs?
7. And come to think of it, who/what are these?
8. Why does baby Calpol taste like heaven and Calpol Six-Plus taste like hell?
9. Was Sunny D really THAT bad?
Come on. We all sort of lost our heads a bit on that one.
10. When on Earth was an appropriate time to use the Good Scissors?
And why did we even have a good scissors?
11. Who let us play Red Rover and British Bulldog during lunch time?
12. Also when and how did kiss chasing become a thing?
God bless the nervous children.
13. Did we really look as deadly as we thought we did in black bin bags at Halloween?
Actually we can answer this one: No.
14. Does anyone ever finish Monopoly?
Or is it like Jumanji where if you play long enough you get sucked in forever?
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