Pope Crawl – 12 Places Where You Should Go That The Pope Isn’t This Weekend

Darragh Berry

The big man himself is coming to Dublin this weekend and we just can’t wait for the occasion to bring the city to its knees.

Lengthy road closures, lack of Dublin Bus real-time information and diversion upon diversion bring us divine joy on Saturday and Sunday.

We’d love to be able to walk on water and ascend into the skies just to get around for the couple of days.

Now, while we’ve already documented where Pope Francis should go in Dublin when he arrives – ‘The Church’ is obvious but this is where else we think he should go – but what about the places that he’s missing out on in Dublin while he’s doing the rounds.

We’re going to try and avoid the city centre as best as possible because the effort of trying to weave in and out of that madness.

WARNING: Article will contain many pope related puns, some good, most bad.

O’Neills

Forget the loaves and fishes, Frankie. This place will give you a proper feed instead.

A carvery inside a pub is a darlin’ idea and we’re very fond of one area in this palce which we came across during a ‘pub club session‘ that Pope Francis would be up for:

“The little corner/snug area that we came across upstairs was heavenly. If the last supper had been held in Dublin, JC and the boys would have nestled in here after the feed.”

The Bernard Shaw

Because the last person to have a Guinness in here was produced with a pint that had a head bigger than a bishop’s collar.

Seriously, no matter how much ground St. Brigid’s Cloak took up in the bible, you’d still need a bigger planning permission proposal for this pint.

Coppers

Pope Francis may be amazed at the ability of being able to turn water into wine but we’d like to show him how we can turn €20 into four jagerbombs.

Mass pints – the best kind

Pre-mass pints, post-mass pints, the only thing better than these two beauties would be pints during mass.

Well that dream has now become a reality as Mary’s are hosting an event on Saturday titled: ‘Pre-mass pints – All Day Long’ meaning you can pint to your heart’s content, forgetting about whether you’re in the moment of pre or post pint.

And sure they’re even showing the big man himself live from the Phoenix Park playing all his famous hits including ‘God is a DJ’, ‘Heaven Is A Place On Earth’ finishing his encore with ‘Redemption Song’ and ‘I Am The Resurrection’.

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Johnnie Fox’s

It’s Ireland’s highest pub and after a pilgrimage that length, it’s only right that you’d have to have a skhelp of pints after reaching the Promise Land.

Devitt’s

It’s just been named as Dublin’s pub of the year and if we’re all God’s favourite children, then it’s only right that we stopped off to do some penance in the capital’s favourite pub.

The Morgue

Because aren’t you in the perfect place in case anything happens to you over the weekend.

And we can only imagine that a place with as depressing a name as this will still be better craic than Phoenix Park.

L Mulligan Grocer

It’s one of the various pubs that we said you have to visit in Dublin before you die so we advise that maybe you stop in this place first before heading to The Morgue.

Marble Arch

“And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch, love is not a victory march – It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah.”

We were howling at the fact that Paddy Power had erected a drive-thru confession box on Conyngham Road in the run up to the papal visit and this place is only a stone’s throw from it.

If you can at all, get a quick confession and pint in on Friday in this pub before the madness hits.

You could kill two birds with one stone and head to The Confession Box on Marlborough Street.

We can’t guarantee that the barman will listen to your sins but they’ll certainly give you absolution at the bar stool.

Slattery’s

These lot were awful sound because not only did they open on Good Friday this year when some pubs chose to remain closed, they also donated all their profits from the day to charity.

We’re raising €32m to bring the pope over here for the weekend.

Instead why don’t you have a few scoops in here and give a small contribution to charity for every glass you gulp.

The Jug

Because if you’re not bothered about checking that Francis out why don’t you check this Francis Street establishment out instead.

With two cocktails for €10 deals and G&Ts for €5.50, we’ll be calling ourselves prodigal sons as we return back each weekend for more after a 7 day absence.