Fiona’s Date: ‘A Part Of Me Thought I Was On A Hidden Camera TV Show’

aidan

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Fiona’s story

I arrived on time and he arrived an hour early – yes, an hour – to make sure he got a good seat.

We met in Blackbird. There are no particularly ‘good’ seats.

Anyway, within the first five minutes he told me he was looking for a wife and noticed that I had a “slim figure but with child-bearing hips”.

I downed my drink to bear the bizarre intensity. A part of me thought I was on a hidden camera TV show. He then went on a rant about the importance of marriage and how he would never get divorced – it “definitely wasn’t part of the plan”.

I told him that I came from a single parent background and that people don’t “plan” to get divorced when they marry but usually there are very good reasons why things don’t work out.

Then he said:

“Yes, but when you make a vow in front of God and your family and go back on that vow, you’re essentially a liar.”

I sighed and told him I needed another drink. Then he frowned and said “you just had your first drink 10 minutes ago. That’s a bit fast – do you need to drink to enjoy yourself?”

“I’m not drinking to enjoy myself.” I replied. “I’m drinking to enjoy you!”

Shortly afterwards, I told him had a migraine and had to leave.

Worst. Date. Ever.

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