This month, we're giving away an amazing weekend away for two at the Dunboyne Castle and Spa. To find out more, and to vote for this story to win, see below!
I arrived on time and he arrived an hour early – yes, an hour – to make sure he got a good seat.
We met in Blackbird. There are no particularly 'good' seats.
Anyway, within the first five minutes he told me he was looking for a wife and noticed that I had a "slim figure but with child-bearing hips".
I downed my drink to bear the bizarre intensity. A part of me thought I was on a hidden camera TV show. He then went on a rant about the importance of marriage and how he would never get divorced – it "definitely wasn't part of the plan".
I told him that I came from a single parent background and that people don't “plan” to get divorced when they marry but usually there are very good reasons why things don't work out.
Then he said:
"Yes, but when you make a vow in front of God and your family and go back on that vow, you're essentially a liar."
I sighed and told him I needed another drink. Then he frowned and said “you just had your first drink 10 minutes ago. That’s a bit fast – do you need to drink to enjoy yourself?”
“I’m not drinking to enjoy myself.” I replied. “I’m drinking to enjoy you!”
Shortly afterwards, I told him had a migraine and had to leave.
Worst. Date. Ever.
Want Fiona to win?
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Check out the other stories
Fiona's story: ‘A Part Of Me Thought I Was On A Hidden Camera TV Show’
Niall's story: ‘Mine Is A Short, Brutal Story’