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20th Dec 2016

Fiona’s Date: ‘A Part Of Me Thought I Was On A Hidden Camera TV Show’


This month, we’re giving away an amazing weekend away for two at the Dunboyne Castle and Spa. To find out more, and to vote for this story to win, see below!

Fiona’s story

I arrived on time and he arrived an hour early – yes, an hour – to make sure he got a good seat.

We met in Blackbird. There are no particularly ‘good’ seats.

Anyway, within the first five minutes he told me he was looking for a wife and noticed that I had a “slim figure but with child-bearing hips”.

I downed my drink to bear the bizarre intensity. A part of me thought I was on a hidden camera TV show. He then went on a rant about the importance of marriage and how he would never get divorced – it “definitely wasn’t part of the plan”.

I told him that I came from a single parent background and that people don’t “plan” to get divorced when they marry but usually there are very good reasons why things don’t work out.

Then he said:

“Yes, but when you make a vow in front of God and your family and go back on that vow, you’re essentially a liar.”

I sighed and told him I needed another drink. Then he frowned and said “you just had your first drink 10 minutes ago. That’s a bit fast – do you need to drink to enjoy yourself?”

“I’m not drinking to enjoy myself.” I replied. “I’m drinking to enjoy you!”

Shortly afterwards, I told him had a migraine and had to leave.

Worst. Date. Ever.

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Check out the other stories

Story #1

Maria’s story: I Came Back Into The Room. He Was Wearing My Zebra-Print Pink Bra.

Story #2

Ellen’s story: I Was Hysterical, And He Left Me To Pick Up The Pieces – Of My Cat

Story #3

Robert’s story: I’m There Telling Her ‘I SWEAR I Didn’t Put This Guy In A Wheelchair’

Story #4

Fiona’s story: ‘A Part Of Me Thought I Was On A Hidden Camera TV Show’

Story #5

Peter’s story: ‘At Night She Used To Take Her 4X4 SUV And Run Over Their Tents While They Slept’

Story #6

Ciara’s story: ‘I Didn’t Know What To Do, Other Than Carry On With The Conversation Like Nothing Was Happening’

Story #7

Emer’s story: ‘He Thought I Looked Like I Was Abandoned And Felt Sorry For Me’

Story #8

Niall’s story: ‘Mine Is A Short, Brutal Story’

Story #9

Gayle’s story: ‘People Talking Through A Movie Is a Pet Peeve Of Mine, So I Finally Lost It’

Story #10

Sarah’s story: ‘So There I Am, Standing Alone In A Club With A Bag Full Of Puke’

Story #11

Carole’s story: ‘I Came Back From The Loo And Sat At The Wrong Table – With Yer Man’s Doppelganger’

Story #12

Emma’s story: ‘The Night Ended With My Date Spending 10 Minutes Trying To Pull Me Out Of A Fence’

Also check out…

PICS: 11 Reasons Why You Should Book A Night In Dunboyne Castle Right Away