"I Grab My Girlfriend To Protect Her Modesty. He Leaves The Room Shouting OLÉ OLÉ OLÉ"
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"I’ve been living in a house with four other people for two months; I refer to it as the tenement.
"It's-owner occupied, and he can be described as a functioning alcoholic who regularly rocks home at 4am on weekdays shouting his head off and playing house music until 7am (Father Fintan Stack style).
"Many times I've come downstairs to find him still in his suit drinking vodka at 8am, and after work he lounges around, dying, in a robe that doesn’t close properly.
Just as we were about to get busy, we hear the ‘owner’ come upstairs
"My girlfriend, who is pretty tolerant, was staying one Friday night; we went to bed early knowing the ‘owner’ was out. But on cue at 5am he arrives home.
"We wake up, bitch about him for 10 mins and fall back asleep. Fast forward to 10am Saturday. We wake up, look at each other, and decide a bit of sexy time is in order. I throw the duvet off the bed and my girlfriend climbs on top.
"Just as we were about to get busy, we hear the ‘owner’ come upstairsJust as we were about to get busy, we hear the ‘owner’ come upstairs. My girlfriend utters ‘He wouldn’t come in, would he?’ but we were too late. Two seconds after the words left her mouth he had BARGED into my bedroom shouting ‘Alllllllllrighty then’, Ace Ventura-style.
"My poor girlfriend is NAKED, on top, with no duvet nearby. I grab her in an attempt to cover her modesty and both of us just look at the ‘owner’ like deer caught in headlights… while he leaves the room shouting ‘OLÉ, OLÉ OLÉ, OLÉÉÉÉ’..."
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