"When Drunk And Not In Familiar Surroundings, I Tend To Sleepwalk"
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"During my college course I had to do work placement, and luckily I got a job in a bank in London during the Olympics in 2012. I lived in London for six months in a very, very small flat with a cultured bunch – a Kerryman, two Italian lesbians and a French actor.
"On my going away party in work I had a few drinks (which resulted in rolling around on the floor of the tube with the Kerryman in our suits taking photos pretending we were worms – but I digress).
I would like to add in the fact I was also naked.
"Here's the point: When drunk and not in familiar surroundings I tend to sleepwalk.
"Later that night on returning from the toilet I turned right instead of left and into my French roommate's room (who was busy with his girlfriend at the time) and tried to curl up on bottom of bed like a dog.
"I would like to add in the fact I was also naked.
"I woke up the next morning (with unexplained bruises) to lots of shouting with the angry Frenchman threatening to stab me the next time it happened. Thankfully I was moving out that day and never saw him again."
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