"One Time He Ate A Whole Roasted Chicken Whilst Lying In Bed With No Clothes On"
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"In 2013 I moved to Vancouver, Canada, on a university exchange program. The university chose a guy named Frederick and I to live together in a dorm based on a personality test.
"Inside our room, Frederick never wore clothes other than his boxers, ever. He looked like Peter Griffin from Family Guy – he was always eating something – and I remember that he would eat and spit out the food as he talked. He would sprawl out on his bed in his white supermarket briefs.
As revenge, I dipped his toothbrush in the toilet and smiled as he happily brushed his teeth later that night.
"One time he ate a whole roasted chicken whilst lying in bed with no clothes on. I remember the smeared chicken grease on his chest as if it were yesterday.
"In our room he had a flat screen TV hooked up to SingStar for the Playstation, and he would always sing along in the nude.
"He also never shared anything. Whatever food he bought he would write his name on it so that nobody would take any. In the kitchen we all shared the pots and cutlery. One day Frederick went out and bought brand new cutlery, pots, frying pans, and a blender, but let nobody use them.
"After eating something, he would lick his shiny new knives and forks clean and then lock them in a toolbox under his bed. As revenge, I dipped his toothbrush in the toilet and smiled as he happily brushed his teeth later that night."
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