"To This Day He's Unaware Of How He Sleepwalked Into One Of Our Neighbours' Houses"
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"My housemate, who was on a bit of a rollover in San Diego, managed to pass out after a crate of alcopops and two cans of Four Loko. So when he upped and left all of a sudden, we just presumed he had gone back down to the off licence.
"He woke to the sound of two little boys laughing and screaming "Mommy! Mommy! Who's this man in our house?"
"To this day he's unaware of how he ended up in one of our neighbours' houses after sleepwalking there – in his disorientated state he ran upstairs in the house like something from a horror film, and the kids followed him the whole way laughing and poking him. He pushed his finger to his lips urging them to "shut up!".
Suffice to say, we were pretty annoyed he came back without more drink
"Realising this was a lost cause, he went back downstairs, only to be confronted by the mother who trembled on the phone "Yes Officer, the intruder is right in front of me".
"He brushed by her and made his way down until he found the light of day by means of a garage door. The father was waiting here, but thankfully daddy was scared stiff and ushered him out of the house instead of – what might well have been legally – shooting him.
"He ran for three hours over highways, convinced he was being chased by police. At this stage he had no shoes and his feet were cut and bleeding.
"Eventually he found a nice couple outside Sea World, whom he told (part) of his story to and they drove him back to the address he had given.
"Suffice to say, we were pretty annoyed he came back without more drink."
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