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12th Jul 2019

15 Things You’ll Remember If You Went To Wesley In The Early Noughties



Back in the day,
Wesley — Grown-up or Baby, we don’t judge — was a rite of passage for teenagers from Dublin’s glorious south side.

After all, what better a place to ruin yer life?

Let’s take a
moment, shall we, to reflect on the hilarious (slash questionable) things that went on
at the infamous Donnybrook disco – and remind us all that
if we ever have children, we should just NEVER LET THEM OUT OF THE HOUSE.

1. Never having enough Pan-stick

Forget highlighting, perfect eyebrows and this contouring business – the millennial hunz had it sussed with lip-gloss, glittery eyeshadow and extravagant use of black, green or blue eyeliner.

And who doesn’t love pan-stick makeup that’s three shades too dark for your skin?



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2. Ironing hair being a part of your Friday night ritual

straighteners (and actual style) were yet to be invented in those days, girls
cleverly improvised. Hair was ironed to within an inch of its life, sometimes tied
back with two super stringy tendrils down the front (the greasier the better).

Crimped hair was
always a winner too… as was Sun-In,
which never actually made the home-made highlights any blonder.


3. Frosted tips > health

Speaking of Sun-In…

The blokes liked to rock step hair-cuts with spider-like fringes and Zack Morris style highlights. With six gallons
of hair-gel thrown in for good measure, naturally.


4. Pedal pushers, worn with pride

Brace yourselves to feel horrible about your past self…

For girls, the once acceptable-to-say knee-high ‘hooker’ boots, halter-necks and boob tubes were all the rage. If you felt like
going for the understated casual look, you couldn’t go wrong with a denim
jacket and belly top coupled with pedal pushers or tracksuit bottoms.

Oh, and a pair of the biggest hoop earrings known to man.

Just throw in a pair of Nikes
or Reebok classics and you were sorted.



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5. Along with brown Wranglers

checked shirts, boot-cut jeans and brown Wranglers (or Dubes) defined the look for lads who hit up to the D4 venue.

0009707 Wrangler Lavey 2 Tan Semi Scratch

6. ‘Beat the slapper’ was a thing that was actually okay to say… and play

Jesus. We actually called it that.

We were genuinely bad people, weren’t we?

With the fellas
looking on point, is it any wonder that a few games of ‘beat the slapper’ went
on? The game was pretty much who could meet – that’s shift for the
country folks – the most lads.

BRB, recoiling.


7. ‘Will ya meet me mate?’

A quick tap on
the shoulder, followed by the question every guy wanted to hear…

Straight to the
point, no messing.



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8. Not being a ‘frigid’ anymore

Hopefully people don’t say this any more.


God, I hate my past self.



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9. The dark scenes of Topaz (or Shell)

For those who
had parents that preferred they left the house with clothes on, fear
not, you could throw your Friday night get-up in a little bag and get changed behind
the garage across the road.


10. The segregation of members and non-members

Talk about a
class system!

You could be hanging around for hours if you were in the
non-members queue – though in saying that, at least it gave you time to get your story

“What school am I

“What’s the principal’s name?”

“Shit, is the uniform colour navy or green?”


11. Getting dropped off as far away as humanly possible

Particularly handy if you were in possession of a dolly or naggin, cleverly poured in a Club Orange bottle. Natch.



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12. The heartbreak of rejection

Too much drink and you’d be refused entry leaving you to wander around Donnybrook, debating
whether to risk the wrath of your parents by calling them on your Nokia
3210 to collect you.

Hopefully, you
had a loyal mate who stayed behind with you.

Who was most likely the sober one.


13. … or getting in, then swiftly getting drop-kicked out

From all the carry
on, it’s not surprising that not everyone made it through the whole night.

“Have you been
drinking?” “No, I’ve just had two” was sure to lead to being politely asked to
leave by the bouncers.

Which left you
once again hanging around Donnybrook.


14. The actual rugby grounds

Because the
disco was attached to the Wesley Rugby grounds, we think they warrant their own
special mention.

A holy grail to some, and a place of dark refuge for others – these grounds saw much more than they’d originally bargained for.


15. And of course… the music

Bit of Britney, Sisqo’s
Thong Song and King of the Castle by Wamdue Project had you busting out the
moves like there was no tomorrow.

Not forgetting Paul
Johnson’s Get Get Down and the timeless Maniac 2000.

Cue lots of
fist pumping. And sweat. Oh God, there was so much sweat.

Sigh. If only they had WhatsApp group chats back then…

READ NEXT: 14 Things You’ll Remember If You Lived In Crawdaddy During The Noughties