Feature

20th Dec 2016

35 Present-Day Things That Will Feature On Nostalgia Lists Of The Future

aidan

That’s right. You read correctly.

In the same way as we look back at the 1980s and laugh at their haircuts, fashion choices and technology, people in 30 years’ time will be looking back and doing the exact same about us. Worse again, we’ve documented even more content – meaning there’ll be more to laugh about.

So, to get in there ahead of them and prepare ourselves for their cruel barbs, we’ve taken a quick trip into the future to see what normalities of everyday life they’re most likely to pick out – and what they’re likely to say about them.

1. Tinder

“Hard to believe, but for a period in the middle of the 2010s, early smartphone users would use swipes (primitive gestures) to match with people they found attractive. An innovative solution in the days before aesthetic-analysis software, granted.”

2. Craft beer

“Because back during the 2010s, what we now call ‘beer’ was considered ‘craft beer’. Hilarious really.”

3. Beards

“Did they really think they wouldn’t look ridiculous in photographs in 20 years’ time?”

4. Bacon-flavoured everything

“From cocktails to snacks, the people of the 2010s loved their bacon like the good folk of the 1980s liked pastel walls and prawn cocktails.”

5. Adventure races

“In the 2010s, people seemed to like nothing more than wading through 10km of mud, and subjecting themselves to electric shocks, sniper’s bullets and horrendous assault courses along the way. Maybe Catholic self-flagellation hadn’t completely died out in Ireland by that point after all…”

6. Flat design

“In 2013, Apple overhauled all their iOS aesthetics – and for the rest of the decade, flat and minimalistic design became an obsession until it became a recurring series of cliches.”

7. Scandi-dramas

“For some reason that we have yet to understand, Danish, Swedish and Norwegian TV programmes became obscenely popular in the English-speaking world for a few years…”

8. Copenhagen

“… and partially as a result of that, Copenhagen became a must-visit destination for every trendy twentysomething in Europe.”

9. Christmas jumpers

“Originally a staple of the 1980s, these festive outfits made a return in the 2010s as part of the now-illegal craze known as ’12 Pubs of Christmas’. We would explain that term to you, only we’re not allowed by law.”

10. Saxophones in every song, ever

“There was an unwritten rule of music during the middle of the decade, stating that a dance song could not be released unless it prominently featured an improvised saxophone riff.”

11. Listicles

“At some point in the 2010s, or possibly the noughties, masses of articles began to appear on the then-primitive internet, built around numbered lists. Needless to say, this trend didn’t last too long…”

12. Emigration drama

“As Ireland was crippled by emigration during the early part of the decade, books, films and shorts surrounding the theme became very en vogue – producing some great works in the process.”

13. Juicing

“How did this not last, honestly?”

14. Pulled pork

“It started off fairly innocently, but pulled pork quickly reached ubiquity to the point where even shop delis were ‘specialising’ in it. It hit its peak some time around the middle of the decade, then quickly fizzled out to nothing.”

15. Vampires

“Starting in earnest with the Twilight Saga – well known to modern viewers as a so-bad-it’s-good cult classic – Hollywood went vampire-crazy for a number of years. It wasn’t the first blood-sucking craze in film history, and it won’t be the last – but it was certainly a marker of this decade.”

16. Sherlock Holmes

“From film adaptations to TV series, Arthur Conan-Doyle’s detective underwent a renaissance during this decade – in fact, there was even a spin-off book series thrown into the mix.”

17. 50 Shades of Grey

“It may seem strange to modern readers, but one of the literary – and cinematic – hits of the 2010s centred around the dark sexual control obsessions of a billionaire… and was a hit with pretty much everyone’s mum.”

18. Luas works

“A memory of Dublin that will strike a chord with readers of a certain age is the city being dug up for the Luas cross-city works in the middle of the decade. Worth it in the end, of course, but try telling that to the people back then…”

19. Print newspapers

“Again, hard to believe now, but a major method for consuming news back in the 2010s was by buying a physically printed copy that was produced on a daily basis and shipped manually to thousands of shops all over the country. An impressive logistical feat if nothing else…”

20. Gay people not being allowed marry

“Believe it or not, gay people were not allowed to marry one another until a referendum in 2015 finally moved Ireland somewhat closer to the modern era.”

Happy St Patrick’s Day. #YesEquality, #MarRef, #VoteYes, #humanrights. Let’s make history. pic.twitter.com/w5cHOkYr01

— Iverna McGowan (@iverna1) March 17, 2015

21. Tacos

“Following the opening of Dublin’s first taco restaurant in 2015, the food surpassed pulled pork as the megatrend of the decade – until everyone got so sick of them that they never wanted to see, touch or taste one again.”

22. Matcha

“A green tea with all sorts of claimed health benefits. Became a super-fad for a couple of years, then vanished off the face of the earth.”

23. Crossfit

“A global health movement that became the go-to for health improvers and health freaks alike. Eventually established itself as an official cult, and moved all of its members to a large facility in the Nevada Dessert.”

24. Snapchat

“An instant-messaging service that allowed users to send photos to one another. So far, so normal – but Snapchat images were programmed to disappear after a number of seconds, and could not be recovered. Obviously the people of the 2010s didn’t get information-gathering quite like we do!”

25. Kilkenny under Brian Cody

“Far from being the laughing stocks they are today, the Kilkenny hurlers of the 2010s were a phenomenal, dominant force under the legendary manager Brian Cody.”

26. Sinn Féin

“After years in the political wilderness, Sinn Féin finally got their shot at power in the mid-2010s – and, well, we all know how that turned out.”

27. Zumba

“Believe it or not, a common thing to hear in the 2010s was: ‘My mum used heads down the community centre every Wednesday night to do Brazilian dances in fluorescent clothing.'” Strange times indeed.

28. Facebook being deemed indestructible

“Despite all the warning signs of social networks that came and went before it, Facebook was still viewed as a force that could not be taken down during these heady years. The company still trades, but in a much-diminished way compared to its 2017 peak.”

29. Bull Island

“Did you know there used to be an island off the coast of Dublin, just north of Clontarf? It’s long gone now, victim to rising sea levels, but was a popular leisure spot for North Dubliners back in its time.”

30. Batteries that only lasted one day

“Can you imagine having to charge your phone or your computer every single night, just so you’d have enough battery life to make it through the next 24 hours? It was a daily way of life back then…”

31. Plug-in chargers

“… and what’s worse, you had to manually plug in your devices as opposed to just leaving them on a bedside table. Some discipline they had back then!”

32. Rockabilly

“For some reason, people of the 2010s decided to not only embrace the music of the 1950s… but the worst music of the 1950s. Go figure.”

33. 3D

“It had been tried and tested before, it had failed before, but that didn’t stop Hollywood execs wheeling out this old gimmick for a second run. No need to tell you how it ended, though to be fair, the arrival of VR headsets didn’t really help.”

34. 1D

“This boyband was all the rage during the early- and mid-2010s – and their arrival alongside the early days of Twitter made for some highly amusing viewing online, as superfans clamoured for the band’s attention. They could blast out a decent tune as well, in fairness…”

35. Selfie sticks

“Much-derided upon their arrival, the selfie stick would of course go on to prove its haters wrong – and it’s now a standard piece of kit for just about every human on the planet.”