36 Thoughts We've All Had While Reluctantly Going For Midweek Pints

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1. Seriously. How is it only Tuesday?

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2. This place is actually driving me to drink. Who on earth came up with the idea of five-day weeks?

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3. Pints were mentioned at lunch, mind.

It IS that kind of day…

4. No. No beer on a Tuesday. Tonight is gym night.

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5. This may be FOMO-inducing.

But it’ll be worth it; I need the sleep.

6. But ugh. Gym. If only I hadn’t booked in for a class, I’d skip the bloody place...

I mean, it can only end badly anyway.

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7. It’s 5.25pm and nobody’s said anything about pints.

Maybe I’ll stay FOMO-free?

8. What the hell is wrong with these people?

Bunch of dry losers.

9. Ah, there it is: “Right lads… Toners?”

Bunch of out-of-control hoodlums.

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10. “I’d be on for that. If you’re heading?”

Oh shut up Susan. (God I love that woman.)

11. I’m going to keep my head down and my earphones on. If they can’t ask me, I can’t say no.

12. And if I can’t say no, I can’t be called boring.

Please don’t tell anyone how I live.

13. He’s waving at me. He is literally waving at my face.

Go away.

14. “Aidan? Aidan? AIDAN!”

Go away. I have plans.

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15. “Pint? We’re heading down Toners.”

Don't you know what earphones MEAN, Mark?

16. No I can’t do this.

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17. But I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS.

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18. I’m not doing this.

I’m going to the gym, then heading home and eating an avocado salad with sweet potato wedges, and going to bed for 10.30pm.

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19. “Yeah… alright. For one.”

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20. I can do just one, right?

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21. Yeah, I’m finished.

The time for turning back was long ago. I may as well just admit it now.

22. Right, I’ve got my first pint. As soon as this touches my lips, the going-home process BEGINS.

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23. Oh man that’s nice.

Calm yourself, Aidan, it's only a...

24. OH MAN THAT’S NICE.

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25. Sure I go to the gym four times a week. I can spare this one time.

26. You know, it’s really good to chat with my colleagues out of the office. We should do this EVERY DAY

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27. Oh my God I’m going to suggest that at the management meeting tomorrow.

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28. Will I have another? Will I WHAT!

This is the best day EVER. I love everyone!

29. Okay, what’s my midweek limit?

Two, I feel nothing tomorrow. Three, I know I've been drinking but it's not too bad. Four is well out, though; that's when the pain starts.

30. A fourth has just appeared in front of me… what the? What time is it?

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31. I’m slurring my words. I need to get out of here.

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32. I’m slurring my words and someone just put a new pint in front of me.

I need to get out of here.

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33. I haven’t eaten since lunch.

My head feels funny.

34. I’m not going to order pizza. I’m not that drunk.

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35. What the… who’s that at the door?

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Oh.

36. Yeah, I’m finished.

Written By

Aidan Coughlan

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