36 Thoughts We’ve All Had While Reluctantly Going For Midweek Pints

1. Seriously. How is it only Tuesday?

2. This place is actually driving me to drink. Who on earth came up with the idea of five-day weeks?

3. Pints were mentioned at lunch, mind.

It IS that kind of day…

4. No. No beer on a Tuesday. Tonight is gym night.

5. This may be FOMO-inducing.

But it’ll be worth it; I need the sleep.

6. But ugh. Gym. If only I hadn’t booked in for a class, I’d skip the bloody place…

I mean, it can only end badly anyway.

7. It’s 5.25pm and nobody’s said anything about pints.

Maybe I’ll stay FOMO-free?

8. What the hell is wrong with these people?

Bunch of dry losers.

9. Ah, there it is: “Right lads… Toners?”

Bunch of out-of-control hoodlums.

10. “I’d be on for that. If you’re heading?”

Oh shut up Susan. (God I love that woman.)

11. I’m going to keep my head down and my earphones on. If they can’t ask me, I can’t say no.

12. And if I can’t say no, I can’t be called boring.

Please don’t tell anyone how I live.

13. He’s waving at me. He is literally waving at my face.

Go away.

14. “Aidan? Aidan? AIDAN!”

Go away. I have plans.

15. “Pint? We’re heading down Toners.”

Don’t you know what earphones MEAN, Mark?

16. No I can’t do this.

17. But I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS.

18. I’m not doing this.

I’m going to the gym, then heading home and eating an avocado salad with sweet potato wedges, and going to bed for 10.30pm.

19. “Yeah… alright. For one.”

20. I can do just one, right?

21. Yeah, I’m finished.

The time for turning back was long ago. I may as well just admit it now.

22. Right, I’ve got my first pint. As soon as this touches my lips, the going-home process BEGINS.

23. Oh man that’s nice.

Calm yourself, Aidan, it’s only a…

24. OH MAN THAT’S NICE.

25. Sure I go to the gym four times a week. I can spare this one time.

26. You know, it’s really good to chat with my colleagues out of the office. We should do this EVERY DAY

27. Oh my God I’m going to suggest that at the management meeting tomorrow.

28. Will I have another? Will I WHAT!

This is the best day EVER. I love everyone!

29. Okay, what’s my midweek limit?

Two, I feel nothing tomorrow. Three, I know I’ve been drinking but it’s not too bad. Four is well out, though; that’s when the pain starts.

30. A fourth has just appeared in front of me… what the? What time is it?

31. I’m slurring my words. I need to get out of here.

32. I’m slurring my words and someone just put a new pint in front of me.

I need to get out of here.

33. I haven’t eaten since lunch.

My head feels funny.

34. I’m not going to order pizza. I’m not that drunk.

35. What the… who’s that at the door?

Oh.

36. Yeah, I’m finished.