Don’t get us wrong, a relationship comes with a whole lot of benefits — it’s just that all the arguments make you seriously doubt if it’s actually worth the hassle.
The battle of the sexes is the oldest struggle of all, and it’s one neither side can ever hope to win. This is because the genders are undeniably equal in terms of stubbornness, refusal to accept blame, and a general unwillingness to see from their other half’s perspective.
While many of same arguments tend to arise around the world, there are cases of location-specific rows. So in Dublin, for instance, arguments tend to start over stuff like…
Making a holy show of yourself in Copper’s
Were perhaps a few too many drinks partaken by all concerned? Undoubtedly. Will either side accept fault? Absolutely fuckin’ not.
Solution: Defuse the situation by saying you thought they wanted dinner and a show.
Being unable to decide on where exactly to eat
The abundance of restaurants that have sprung up around here in recent years has proven both a gift and a curse to Dublin’s couples.
Upon reading aloud your twentieth restaurant suggestion to yet another shake of the head, you find that your blood pressure has reached exciting new heights.
Solution: If we’ve said it once we’ve said it a thousand times — you just can’t go wrong with pizza.
Refusing to be the one who answers the door to the Deliveroo guy
On an exceedingly hungover Sunday, the prospect of brief social interaction and putting on real person clothes is almost unbearable.
Solution: Whoever paid for it has earned the right to stay where they are. So sorry freeloader, but you’re answering that door.
Poor attempts at making a cup of tea
Can you really see yourself spending the rest of your life with someone who lacks this most basic of skills?
Solution: Use this handy illustration to avoid any rookie mistakes.
Whether you should walk or take the Luas
This problem arises when one of ye can be arsed, but one cannot.
Solution: Only through being equally lazy can you be truly happy together.
Letting the heat out of a room
If your other half is rather sensitive to chilliness, and is quick to remind you of this, then God help you if you allow any heat to escape a room in which they are situated.
Solution: Keeping the damn door shut.
Whether it’s worth the effort of queuing at Bunsen
You have both chosen opposite sides in the eternal battle of impatience and hunger.
Solution: One of you hold the place in the queue, the other scouts alternatives nearby.
Meeting at the top of Grafton Street
Pride will never allow either of you to admit that ‘top’ was a pretty stupid way of differentiating ends of a street.
Solution: Maybe use a landmark as a reference point rather than an ambiguous direction? Just a thought.