There's something ritual-like about taking a poo.
It's nice to entertain yourself for the process, perhaps read a good book or send a few Snapchat selfies to your pals whilst the business is ongoing.
The most important thing has to be the atmosphere though. There's nothing quite like your own home but when you just can't make it home – here are the next best thing.
The top eight shit-hot places to take a peaceful poo.
1. Arts Block, Trinity College Dublin
The ultimate getaway. The best part is that there are storeys upon storeys to choose from. The further up you go, the more privacy you're guaranteed.
The only downside: they're not open 24 hours.
2. Powerscourt Townhouse Shopping Centre
It will take you about ten minutes to walk from the main entrance to the toilets as it's quite a maze in there but it's well worth it.
Sheer seclusion from the hustle and bustle of South William Street.
Now some would argue with me on this one but McDonald's is an old reliable source, in my books anyways.
The toilet paper may be rough but access to a loo is always guaranteed. To be honest, by the time you're finished your business you're probably tempted by some curly fries anyways.
4. Brown Thomas
The king of all public toilet experiences, BT gives you what you deserve – a truly peaceful poo.
You have to be a little nifty though in your approach. Practice makes perfect.
If you frequent the shopping stretch that is Henry Street then I couldn't recommend any spot better than Arnotts
An ideal location – it takes prime placement equidistant from either ends of the street which is handy when you've to run if the curry from last night wants out.
For ladies, we would recommend the loos within the lingerie department. For the gents, your best option is near the restaurant.
6. Jervis Shopping Centre
Another personal favourite in the Henry Street vicinity, the shopping centre's toilets provide ultimate anonymity so you needn't fret about how long you've spent in there.
To be honest I could have written this entire article whilst sitting on a Jervis toilet without a single interruption.
7. KC Peaches
The staff at KC's are bound to miss you due to their inevitable traffic, particularly around lunchtime.
Sit back, relax and enjoy the chill surroundings that their toilets have to offer. The music that they pump in isn't bad either.
8. The Marker
There is no other toilet on this list that screams 'treat yo'self' more than The Marker's does.
One of Dublin's swankiest hotels means it's also equally as notorious when it comes to being a sneaky poop hideaway.