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20th Dec 2016

19 Summer Goals We Never Ever Seem To Achieve

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Your summer bucket list was compiled carefully during a lazy yet ambitious weekend in late April. It was your pride and joy during the first couple of weeks in June.

Once your favourite Netflix series was released and the sun returned to its state of hibernation, it was out with the ambition and in with the procrastination.

1. Go to the gym ALLLLL the time

As soon as April was through you had yourself convinced that you were going to work tirelessly on that summer regime. 

Come July, you realise that you haven’t even started. 

Come August, you realise that you never will.

2. Read more

Those books you bought one Sunday on a whim were a present to yourself. They were also a promise – that you would read at least one book a week.

But you haven’t even gotten past the first chapter of that thriller and your library membership still hasn’t been renewed since you were in sixth class.

3. Eat healthier

Summer is the height of all things healthy. The tastiest of fruits are in season so you have no excuse to refuse a fruit salad.

It’s just such a shame that strawberries taste the best when covered in chocolate…

4. Road trip with pals

It may have been October when these plans were initially brainstormed but you can’t really recall? Someone thought it would be good craic to hire a camper van between the five friends and drive around the west coast for a week. 

Suddenly, no one has the money to fund such an escapade.

5. Have a summer fling

Wouldn’t it be ideal? Soaking up the sun together down on Dollymount Strand. Sharing ice creams. Lounging in St Stephen’s Green ’til close.

If only relationships weren’t so complicated.

7. Learn how to play an instrument

A ukulele is harder to play than first meets the eye. I can tell you that from personal experience.

8. Give yoga a go

The benefits are endless, or so they say. You have been watching videos on YouTube to help advance your technique for about a week but after that you resorted to Netflix yoga instead.

It is sometimes referred to as watching a screen for many hours at a time and not moving.

9. Dye your hair

Summer is all about having fun, right? Well then your hairstyle is supposed to mirror how much fun you’re having. 

You never actually plucked up the courage to turn your luscious locks pink in the end.

10. Make a scrapbook

It has always been a dream of yours to bring all of your favourite memories from the year so far in one book. The photos have been printed and the Pritt Stick bought but face it – nothing will actually be glued together. 

Shame.

11. Learn how to cook a restaurant-worthy meal

Granny got you the latest Jamie Oliver cook book for Christmas and it’s still lying in its plastic wrapping on a bookshelf somewhere in the house. You are determined to nail at least one fancy dish to impress your mates. 

But the number for Domino’s was on speed dial. 

Whoops. Wonder how that got there.

Pizza

12. Keep a dream diary 

So you’ve been convinced by your friends to begin a dream diary in an attempt to explain why you’ve been so restless lately. You feel it might clear your mind. 

But you wake up on that first morning and instinctively check your Twitter feed and immediately forget what bizarre images you were conjuring up in your subconscious last night.

13. Attend a dance class 

You fancy yourself to have a bit of Bruno Tonioli running through your veins and so you vaguely begin to research some dance classes going on in your local area. Zumba always looked like fun. Maybe you’re more salsa-orientated. 

Well it takes two to tango as they say. And you can’t even give one.

Tango

14. Get a tan

HAAAAA.

That is all.

15. Start a blog

Sure you have loads of opinions to share. Blogging will be easy.

Then ultimately, you create the WordPress account, started on your first entry but then…

Is that a bird outside? 

16. Try an extreme sport

The adrenaline was calling. Water-skiing in the Grand Canal Dock maybe? Your friends chickened out and that was your excuse to as well.

Or at least that’s what you told people.

Squirrel

16. Learn how to drive

Those grand stretches in the evening aren’t there for nothing. Take the car out for a few spins and sure you’ll be a Lewis Hamilton in no time. 

It turns out it’s very easy to break a red light which gives you enough of a scare to not get behind the wheel for another year or so. Pity.

17. Visit a theme park

The whole gang decided back in February that a trip to one of those notionsy rollercoaster places in London was on the cards.

But ultimately, you doubted you would have been able to handle such variations in gravity.

Rollercoaster

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