Are you like us in that you just crossed over to your 30’s not so long ago? Perhaps you’re at the end of your 20’s and wondering what life is like on the dark side.
Here’s what you have to look forward to. Join us. It’s bliss.
1. You’re finally able to go to the Black Door
This is where you belong.
— Jan Leonard (@LeonardJeannine) November 3, 2016
2. The queue for Coppers is hell
That’s before you even get in.
3. You’re no longer asked for ID At Sophie’s
The most welcome of insults.
— Sophie’s Dublin (@SophiesDublin) May 16, 2017
4. 10-year college reunions are the norm
You’re punching the next person who says “so what you up to these days?”
5. You start asking everyone for dental recommendations
And you’re spending hundreds on dental work.
6. All your favourite sports stars are younger than you
No, you’re weird for idolising someone 10 years your junior.
7. While famous people you idolised growing up are becoming elderly
Packie Bonner is 57 and Andrea Corr is mid 40s.
8. And your younger colleagues can’t relate when one of them dies
They wouldn’t even wear purple in honour of Prince.
9. You have no idea what Snapchat is
10. You spend a frankly weird amount of time at children’s birthday parties
They’re pretty fun, tbf.
11. Staying in is genuinely more appealing than going out
Why the hell would you want to go all the way into town?
12. While sleeping past 10am is a waste of a day
And every waking minute is spent doing something.
13. Half of your income goes on weddings
Not your wedding we might add.
14. Don’t even think about drinking two nights in a row
You are now sentenced to a week-long hangover.
15. Graham Norton is literally one of your best mates
“Oh, Graham. How you make me lol.”
— Graham Norton Show (@TheGNShow) May 24, 2017
16. You cannot wait for that Saturday in three weeks time where have no plans
And you pray that nobody invites you anywhere before then.
17. Finally, grey hairs are real
And they are multiplying.