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31st Jul 2019

17 Terrifying Things You Notice When You Turn 30 In Dublin

James Fenton

Are you like us in that you just crossed over to your 30’s not so long ago? Perhaps you’re at the end of your 20’s and wondering what life is like on the dark side.

Here’s what you have to look forward to. Join us. It’s bliss.

1. You’re finally able to go to the Black Door

This is where you belong.

2. The queue for Coppers is hell

That’s before you even get in.

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3. You’re no longer asked for ID At Sophie’s

The most welcome of insults.

4. 10-year college reunions are the norm

You’re punching the next person who says “so what you up to these days?”

5. You start asking everyone for dental recommendations

And you’re spending hundreds on dental work.

6. All your favourite sports stars are younger than you

No, you’re weird for idolising someone 10 years your junior.

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7. While famous people you idolised growing up are becoming elderly

Packie Bonner is 57 and Andrea Corr is mid 40s.

8. And your younger colleagues can’t relate when one of them dies

They wouldn’t even wear purple in honour of Prince.

9. You have no idea what Snapchat is


10. You spend a frankly weird amount of time at children’s birthday parties

They’re pretty fun, tbf.

11. Staying in is genuinely more appealing than going out

Why the hell would you want to go all the way into town?

12. While sleeping past 10am is a waste of a day

And every waking minute is spent doing something.

13. Half of your income goes on weddings

Not your wedding we might add.

14. Don’t even think about drinking two nights in a row

You are now sentenced to a week-long hangover.

15. Graham Norton is literally one of your best mates

“Oh, Graham. How you make me lol.”

16. You cannot wait for that Saturday in three weeks time where have no plans

And you pray that nobody invites you anywhere before then.

17. Finally, grey hairs are real

And they are multiplying.