13 Things You'll Recognise When You Can't Go Home For Christmas
Here's what all those Irish stranded abroad are experiencing this festive season...
Christmas is a time for being with family... except when you can't.
When you think of Christmas, it's generally the thought of being surrounded by family, fairy lights, a mountain of presents and a massive dinner.
But when you're abroad for the festive season, things tend to be a lot different. This is what you experience...
1. Unfortunately, last minute Christmas shopping just isn't possible this year
Those eejits back home better appreciate that you had to go through a lot of feckin' effort to buy stuff early.
2. Sending presents home is feckin' EXPENSIVE
So you try and find a mule who'll carry the staff back with them when they're flying home.
3. Presents and cards from home actually mean the world to you right now
But you promised yourself you wouldn't cry.
4. You end up banding together with other stranded expats
Let's all just pretend we're a family, 'kay?
5. You go to extraordinary lengths to recreate that Christmas experience from home
You're gonna be that pushy host that'll force your guests to have a merry Christmas.
All aboard the Polar Express, muthafuckas.
6. But it turns out that making Christmas dinner is haaard
Suddenly, spending a shitload of cash to go home for Christmas seems like it might've been the easier option.
7. As a result, you'll probably have to go without the turkey this year
If The Santa Clause taught us anything, it's that cooking turkey is just way more hassle than it's worth. Anyway, who even cares?
8. Everybody present is making extra special effort to make this a brilliant day
You've never spent this much time with friends on Christmas Day before and you realise it's actually great craic. It's also an excellent bonding exercise.
9. You get to do things that'd you'd NEVER do on a regular Christmas Day
i.e. You're probably going to get veeery drunk this year.
10. You realise you don't have to go to Mass
Sure, you like doing to Mass at Christmas, but it's also kinda obligatory. You've never known freedom like this.
11. When you Skype your family, the connection will be shit
You'll end up taking to your mam's face frozen mid-blink for an hour.
12. You get a phone call from a grandparent guilting you into promising to come home to see them next year
"If I'm STILL ALIVE!"
13. You realise that, actually, Christmas away from home isn't so bad
Just don't tell your mother that.