Yes, the dreamy haze that were your college years are now over.
Contrary to popular belief (of teenage dopes) you haven’t hit your twilight years just yet. The world is your oyster now; you own this city.
Here are 22 reasons why.
1. You don’t go to the pub/club based on the specials
Gone are the days where you’re frantically finding said club’s Facebook event to scrawl your name on the cheaplist, and even longer gone is the temptation to go to Dicey’s for €2 pints.
You’ve spread your wings and are so ready to fly into the beautiful world of The Big Dogs.
2. You actually go to see DJs/bands/plays you like because you don’t have to worry about eating beans for the week if you do
A few years ago, €20 for a ticket seemed obscene; these days, it seems a triviality.
3. You get to use the prized term ‘young professional’ when flat-hunting
Anyone who has attempted to flat-hunt in Dublin knows that this term is worth its weight in gold. Landlord heroin.
4. Fresher’s week seems like pure and utter torture, to be avoided at all costs
And freshers look like LOST CHILDREN. If you even realise it's happening, that is.
5. Going out for dinner has been upgraded from Jerusalem to The Exchequer
No more BYOBs for you, you big sophisticated dream.
6. You smoke cigarettes instead of rollies
Or have given-up entirely* (since smoking is so college).
* Does not include nights out, obviously
7. You have finally and graciously outgrown Harcourt Street
However brilliant those times may have been, that hectic world is behind you my friend. Remember it, cherish it, but lay it to rest.
Unless you're heading to The Black Door.
8. You become more excited about trips to Ikea than clothes shopping
To either roam around in with your prospective significant other, or to decorate the dream flat we referred to in reason #3 above, Ikea is well and truly the dream.
9. Your flat is decorated with plants, not cans
For as you grow slightly older, you realise that that’s a fucking dreadful idea in the first place.
10. You live for the weekend
A tough adjustment to begin with, but a necessary one. Friday is the new Thursday.
11. Hangover food is no longer beige
Our collective conscience (and slowing metabolism) is telling us that maybe a Chopped would be better than a Micky D’s.
12. Rollovers are rare but wonderful
Post-college life gives you both a shrewd perspective on a night out, and the sense to determine that sometimes it’s best to call it a night after the club.
13. You trawl through sale season for ‘work clothes’
Another necessary evil, however also for the better. Men always always go up at least 4 looks points in a suit, and office wear for women is really just glorified porn.
13. You’d rather spend €6 on a taxi than €2 on a bus
Just get me there with the smallest amount of people involved as possible. I don’t care about the cost.
14. You’re a complete and total lightweight
The resistance you spent your teenage years honing has swiftly flown the nest and you absolutely don’t know why.
A cocktail with dinner is touch-and-fucking-go.
15. You buy shopping bags for the food shop
Because it’s economical, sound and just the right thing to do. Look at you being all sensible.
16. You can have the glorious combination of having a salary AND not being too old to go to nightclubs
Old enough to have responsibilities, young enough to party.
17. You’re far pickier about brunch spots than pubs
Because eggs orders are far more detailed than drinks orders. Fact.
18. You can skip the odd night out because of ‘work commitments’
Or bed commitments... they'll never know.
19. You start looking for The One and not The One Night Stand
Hailing from the previous generation of young marriages, us Irish are all too conscious of the looming journey up the aisle.
If you've found them, great. If not, keep looking, they're out there. Or don't. Nobody cares, really.
20. You start to look at flats far from clubs as opposed to close to them
Who has two thumbs and isn't going to have vomit on their doorstep in the morning? This guy.
21. You have a higher opinion of barbeques because you can be drunk and in bed by 8
With a belly full of meat too. Dreamy.
22. And finally... considering emigrating but also never wanting to leave
Sure, how could you? Ireland's pretty bloody fantastic.