That’s right my friend; you are not alone.
We’ve all had those weird, rambling thoughts as we lie in bed trying to let sleep take over our bodies.
Here are just 59 – a tiny sample, to be fair – that we could come up with.
1. Imagine still having your umbilical cord.
2. Imagine if Edward Scissorhands was Edward Scissorsface.
3. Dublin’s such a weird word.
DUB-lin. dub-LIN.
4. I wonder do all bus drivers know one another.
They always wave. Or flick.
5. I wonder if I’d be good at sailing.
6. I wonder if animals know what they’re called.
7. I feel drunk on tired.
That’s a thing.
8. I should write a book
9. When was the last time I changed my sheets?
10. When was the last time I changed my profile picture?
11. Am I missing my chance to meet The One by not being on Tinder right now?
12. I wonder how much it would be to buy Trinity.
Like, to actually have it as your gaf.
13. I’d genuinely be savage at The Cube.
14. Why did Parks and Rec have to end?
And, more broadly, why does suffering exist?
15. Maybe I should get my teeth whitened.
Do people notice?
16. Why do we really all hate Bono?
17. If I was a club in Dublin, I’d definitely be Tripod.
#NeverForget
18. Actually no, fuck that.
I’d really be Diceys.
19. Fuck, did I leave the immersion on?
I’m a parody of an Irish person. I realise this.
20. Is it me or has the word ‘sassy’ made a real comeback?
21. Shrek 2 was miles better than Shrek 1.
But they were both kinda shit really.
22. Remember Nadine Coyle faked her age on Popstars: The Rivals.
NAINTEEN-EEETY-FAAAAEEEVE.
23. What even is sleep, and why do we need it?
Casually not living for a few hours at night. So weird.
24. Come to think of it, what is death?
Is that just sleep forever? Will I not be able to do that too?
25. What’s Ashlee Simpson at?
26. I wonder if I’ll be reincarnated.
Knowing my luck I’d come back as a bucket or something shit.
27. Seriously is there any way to get a hot body without exercising because I just don’t think it’s for me.
28. Good lord, I’m never drinking coffee again.
Black awakeness juice.
29. What’s up with cheese?
Hard milk.
30. And skim milk?
White water.
31. Is it ever actually quicker to cut through George’s St Arcade, or do you always end up slowed down by the crowds?
32. Why are beige foods the best?
I should tweet this.
33. Will I ever feel like I belong in Brown Thomas?
34. Did I actually pay €4.50 for that coffee earlier?
The fact that I’m asking that question means that no, I will never feel like I belong in Brown Thomas.
35. Here, why the hell is there an ironing board outside P Macs?
36. How’s my tweet about beige foods doing?
Grand.
The best things in life are beige ????????????????????????????????????????????????????
— Kate Demolder (@katedemolder) August 30, 2015
37. Do birds pee?
38. Do fish sleep?
39. Fuck, did I set my alarm?
WHY IS MY PHONE SO BRIGHT.
40. I wonder who else is online.
The usuals. God am I considered ‘one of them’?
41. What’s up with dreams?
42. And nightmares?
Am I gonna have a nightmare tonight?
43. Do spiders really crawl into your mouth while you’re sleeping?
Has to be a myth.
44. Okay, finally starting to drift off n… HEY REMEMBER THAT EMBARRASSING THING THAT HAPPENED IN WORK TODAY?
45. God it’s sweltering
*sticks foot out*
46. What if something rips me out of bed by the foot like in Paranormal Activity?
*takes foot back in*
47. Thunder hardly only happens when it’s raining?
And players probably find true love, eventually like.
48. I wonder what number NOW compilation they’re up to by now.
How…how long was I asleep…?
WHAT YEAR IS THIS!?!? pic.twitter.com/V9DPQZ4GQn— David Griffith (@theplaguedoc) December 20, 2014
49. Like it or lump it – great phrase.
50. Why can’t chickens fly?
Fuckin’ eejits.
51. Everyone who has an interest in horses seems to be fuckin’ mental.
52. I should probably change my name on Facebook.
But to what.
53. I wonder where my doppelganger lives.
Poor sod.
54. I hope they’re sound.
55. I wonder if they’re awake?!
56. Okay, finally starting to drift off n… HEY REMEMBER THAT EMBARRASSING THING THAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE SIX?
57. Betcha Paul O’Connell’s mad sound.
58. When will it be the weekend?
What day is this again? I’m… kinda… starting to feel…
59. UGH I can’t believe Miss Piggy and Kermit broke up.
They’re puppets like.
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