Facebook has been alive and kicking for the past 1w years – giving us plenty of time of build up friends in their thousands, some of which we barely even know.
And while we always talk about doing a 'massive cull', we almost never do. Here are the people who stop that from becoming a reality.
1. Your best mate's ex
They were a big deal once upon a time but these days you wonder whether to write them a Happy Birthday post or not.
You still have a shit load of mutual friends with them, though, meaning your mates haven't deleted them just yet – so you'll be sound and hang on for another while.
2. That club promoter guy who used to get you free into Krystle
He's done you all the favours over the years, and made you look like a big dog in the process. You have to keep him.
3. Someone you added drunk after a night out with the intention of flirting, but then fell asleep
You can't delete them now, you'd only look a fool. Hold it out, play the long game. Sure, it's been six years now... but everyone loves the long game.
4. A friend of a friend you met on a rollover but never saw again
For those few hours, as you sat together flicking between music stations, your bond was so intense that it would be a shame to meet again sober and be deemed just 'acquaintances'.
5. The President of your college's Student Union back in 2004
They're still doing well, fair play to them. Maybe hold on to them, incase they become the actual President.
6. Your best mate's neighbour who you were texting when you were 17
What even is Facebook, if it's not an intricate timeline of your love life?
7. Your younger cousin who has just hit puberty
Whether you're watching over them to keep them safe, you want to reminisce over bolder times, or you purely want to stalk the shit out of them so you have ammo for years to come, this is a worthwhile point of retention.
Disclaimer: They very well could have already deleted you.
8. Yer one from the Gaeltacht who's minted
Yes they're the last person you want to think about when you swim through your tears into the office on a Monday morning, but a glimpse in to how the other half live is both informative and motivational, and you simply couldn't limit yourself to a life less 'travelled'.
9. The kid who was five years younger than you in school and who is kinda hot now
Still not going to delete them though.