Here’s Our Open Letter To Dublin Restaurants About Their Most Annoying Habit Right Now

Dear Dublin restaurants (you know who you are),

We are writing on behalf of the tender eardrums and fragile heads of the greater Dublin area, i.e. The Pale. 

We aren’t getting any younger, we know this, you know this, society knows this. And when we’re using our hard earned cash to purchase eggs benedict, one thousand chicken wings, and burgers the size of our faces, we would like to be able to experience them while still being able to hear ourselves think. Is that so much to ask?

Is it too ambitious to want to be able to hear friends, families and lovers across the table, when sitting in one of your fine eateries?

Is that too much? Are we being brats?

Please say it isn’t so.

We don’t mean to appear rude, trust me we don’t, we would just like to strengthen our symbiotic relationship. You’re making us feel old, and we just feel like you don’t love us anymore. But we’re wrong, right? Right?!

Good. Then we can go back to the days of yore, when you were good, we could hear, and love was real. Just turn it down a tad.

You’re too good to us.

Sincerely,

The eaters of Dublin.

x

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