17 Ways Life Would Be So Much Better If We Treated It Like Primary School
Because deep down inside, we're still complete and utter toddlers
Ever sit back, look around your lacklustre office and wonder how much greater we had it back in primary school? You are not alone my friend.
We had it pretty good back then – and here are 17 ways life could be so much easier if we learned from our glorious pasts.
1. You'd have to put your hand up to go to the bathroom
Or, more to the point, colleagues would have to put up their hands if they wanted to go for their seventh fucking smoke break of the day.
2. You'd get to wear a uniform
You get to shave precious time off of your morning prep (and more importantly, add precious time in bed) by wearing the same set of clothes as every one else every day.
Bonus point: Don’t have to buy a whole work wardrobe.
3. Loud thicks getting separated
A group of screeching hunzos wrecking your buzz in the office/pub? Not a problem, the boss/barman will seat them at opposite sides of the room to reduce the volume for all of those around you.
4. You'd get split up and sent to different companies when your boss was out sick
What could possibly go wrong?
5. You'd get collected from work by your parents
No parking, no public transport, and always the ability to have a quick pint after work because you don’t have to go behind the wheel. Success!
6. You'd get two months' holidays every year
Need we say any more?
7. A lot of work would be carried out through song
Meaning you're ten times more likely to remember, and enjoy it.
8. You'd be able to rely a lot more on wall charts
So long, Excel spreadsheets.
9. You could actually get 100% in tests/appraisals
A better time.
10. You'd get to leave the office once a week to play rounders
11. And there'd be field trips
A cheap trip to an amusing destination and a day filled with forced fun and a the possibility of an extra-special lunch – what's not to love?
12. There'd be a Buddy System
Being forced to hang out with your best mate all day, and hold hands on the way back from the shop during lunch. Not a problem.
13. You'd spend a lot more time drawing
AND it's drawing for the sake of drawing, so it doesn't matter if you're shit at it! Win win.
14. You'd get to keep all your stuff in baskets on your desk
An increase in productivity due to the sheer bloody neatness of it all, and a way to stop your colleague from robbing your shit.
15. You could wear elasticated ties
No more tell-tale signs that you still don't bloody know how to tie a tie correctly.
16. Swapping would constitute an acceptable form of currency
Someone else picked up a Blazing Salads before work and you don't have time to run out yourself? No problem, swap your coffee/latest draft/nicest gel pen and it's yours.
17. And finally... if your boss got bored they’d roll in the Telly Trolley