The 9 Levels Of Hangover Encapsulated By Dublin Brunch Options
6. Cleaver East Level: Booze, you need booze.
We've all been there, we've somehow managed to get ourselves into a bit of a hoop the night before and need replenishing of some sort the following morning. And what better way to do so than brunch?
We're lucky in Dublin in so that we have an admirable amount of brunch spots scattered around the city, providing all sorts of eats for hungry tummies and tortured heads.
Here are 9 spots you can match up to your hangover level, where you can feed your pain the grub it so desperately needs.
9. Staple Foods
This is for the strong of will who may have slightly lost the plot the night before, but are eager to get back to their healthy ways immediately. A combination of shredded vegetables and a strong coffee will set you right back on the determined path from whence you came.
''My body is a temple that burnt to the fucking ground last night. I need replenishing and nutrition of the highest order. Unagi.''
Level: You got this.
Boojum was created for that chirpy hangover friend of yours who claims not to suffer the general body aches and all round disappointment in oneself, but who simply gets on with it in the only way we all know how: eating.
''A hearty, tasty meal that will shake off my inhibitions and set my right up for the day - all in a handheld package of meat and beans. What a time to be alive!''
7. The Pepper Pot
Ah, The Pepper Pot. Everyone's fave little café tucked away nicely into Powerscourt, hidden from prying eyes. This place boasts delicious, wholesome food that will fill you for the day, that won't break the bank.
This is for your friend who is feeling the shame of snarfing down a Zaytoon last night, but wants to appear as a functioning member of society today.
''We should definitely head to The Pepper Pot for brunch, it has bread. Lots of bread.''
6. Cleaver East
Level: Booze, you need booze.
Cleaver East is a mecca for your mate who loves spending money. They may have lost the run of themselves last night, gotten with an ex and lamped their debit card into the Liffey - but it's nothing some burgers and bottomless mimosas can't fix!
''Oh God, I feel like I'm getting sober. Quick, get dressed, I'm Uber-ing to Cleaver East STAT.''
Level: Indecisive central.
Now, there are two types of people who go to Avoca for a hangover brunch...
1. Your friend who performed foul, awful deeds last night and needs to repent their sins with a juice detox. ''Yes, 4 small bottles for €1000 is fine. I'll feel better afterwords won't I?''
2. Your friend who has seriously niche hangover cravings and needs to consume a whole rotisserie chicken by themselves. ''Yes, the whole chicken. I'm on dinner duty tonight.'' *shifty eyes*
4. San Lorenzo's
Level: I can't go on.
This is for your hungover friend who foresaw their banger of a hangover coming two weeks ago, and booked you all a table so that they can indulge in some Coco Pops French Toast. Ain't nothing stopping them now.
''I just want something that incorporates bread, eggs and cereal all in one. And I want to go somewhere where I don't look mental eating it.''
Hold onto that friend, they know what's good for them.
3. Taco Taco
Taco Taco exists purely for your friend who can never get bookings at San Lorenzo's, but is determined to not fall down the chicken fillet roll route of life.
So they order two of everything and sit there thinking like they own this hangover - ignorance is bliss!
''I can't believe they didn't let us in. Was it me? Do I look scruffy? What loser books brunch?''
Level: Oh God.
You drank so much Tesco Value Vodka last night you nearly blinded yourself, before losing all your mates, your Tinder date and your wallet. Your dignity was drop kicked in the other direction about a year ago. Say a prayer, get thee to The Counter and just try not to cry.
''I don't think anyone understand just how much i need sweet potato fries right now.''
For your friend who is dying and can't face life today. They need a particular selection of goods to keep them topped up constantly throughout the day, to be eaten in a dark room.
''I need to go in and out with no one seeing me.''