Dublin city doubles, triples and maybe even quadruples its population over the Paddy's Weekend (or so it seems) and in an attempt for us all to get along swimmingly, we've compiled a list of handy tips for the outsiders to act, feel and speak like a local – and, most importantly, avoid getting themselves into trouble.
So listen up, visitors, you've got a lot to learn...
1. Taxis have a starting fare before you start moving
This fare ranges from €3.60 - €4.30, averaging out at €4. So, basically, don't be alarmed when you hop into a car and you're already down the guts of a fiver. Oh, and it's + €1 per extra person in the car.
That's Dublin for you.
2. Dublin buses come VERY close to the road
You've been warned. Back the fuck up.
3. Tipping isn't compulsory here
However, 10% is considered polite, and anything above is very much appreciated.
4. Book places before going, as places will book up
For the love of God, BOOK BEFORE GOING ANYWHERE THIS WEEKEND.
It's Dublin's busiest weekend and you will get turned away if you haven't organised in advance.
5. Don't. Walk. Slowly.
We get it, you're entranced by Dublin's beauty and charm, but do your meandering on your own time.
If you walk slowly, people will give out. Simple as.
6. Don't rely on public transport
Due to the festivities, loads of roads will be closed off and some buses won’t be running. You’re much better off either walking or getting a taxi.
For more information on road closures, check right here.
7. Ireland is NOT in the UK
Do not make this mistake. Especially not this weekend. It will be the last thing you'll do.
8. Ireland's national language is called ‘Irish’ not ‘Gaelic’
Gaelic is nothing. NOTHING.
9. It’s ‘St Paddy’s Day’ not ‘St Patty's Day’
While we're on the topic of pronunciation... This is arguably the worst thing you can say.
- Paddy = Nickname for Patrick
- Patty = Burger
Is it burger day? No. No it is not.
10. Do not pay €7 for a pint
While it may be perfectly poured, hand-crafted and manufactured just down the road – no pint should cost €7.
Between €4 - €5.50 is acceptable.
11. Say 'thank you' to the driver when you get off the bus
Essential. This is an unwritten rule in Irish culture. The bus driver is king, and never forget that.
12. Ponchos are lame and you shouldn't buy them
It's just something you should know.
13. Temple Bar should be avoided altogether
Remember what I said about the €7 pints? Rules don't apply out there.
But if you do fancy a stroll through, we're sorry for the things you may see there.
14. Seagulls WILL rob your food
We're not joking. They're the size of dogs here.
Either you eat fast or you don't eat.
15. You can only buy alcohol in shops between 4pm - 10pm on Paddy's Day
In Ireland, a law passed several years ago stating that you can't purchase alcohol in a shop past 10pm at night, ever. And on Paddy's Day, in an attempt to cut down on underage drinking, off licences won't sell alcohol before 4pm on March 17.
So get your booze orders in during those sweet six hours – or else stock up tonight.
Disclaimer: This does NOT include pubs. You can buy drinks in pubs from the moment you wake up.
16. Smoking isn't allowed indoors
Smoking was banned indoors back in 2004, so this is why you'll always see hundreds of people outside pubs, clubs and bars with pints in one hand and smokes in another.
17. And finally, Dublin Irish is a language of it's own
You're on your own now... But we hope the above helps, somewhat.
And until next time, Happy Paddy's Day!