8 Reasons Why The CV Is The Most Hilariously Obsolete Thing Of Modern Times
Can we declare these things dead once and for all?
Nothing – nothing – has clung on into the digital era more bravely than the CV.
But while it's had a good run, that run is now very much at an end. And here's why...
1. Because we are not in Hogwarts
And in the real world, when something goes on paper, it stays there. Still. Unmoving. Unchanged. Forever.
So when you consider the fact that your CV – which a company kept 'on file' a year ago – now doesn't represent 12 months worth of experience, that's a bit crap really.
2. Because OUR EYES
Generations of career guidance teachers telling people to make their CV 'stand out' have resulted in people missing the point brilliantly, and adding a whole manner of purples, pinks and greens to their document.
Ain't nobody got time for that.
3. Because padding
Nobody cares that you were captain of the swimming team in school when you were 12.
4. 'On file' is a codeword for an abyss of nothingness
"We're keeping your CV on file."
Sure you bloody are.
5. Because every single one is different
And no, that's not a good thing.
When you're trying to sort between similar candidates – comparing like with like – it's really not ideal to have to spend time trying to pick apart the guy who's listed education under 'qualifications' and his jobs from earliest to latest, versus the girl who's listed everything under 'experience' from latest to earliest.
6. Because 2016 and printing don't mix
Even two years ago, we could at least say that you could justify your ownership of a printer because you also needed to print boarding passes.
And now? Even that's moved on to smartphones. The CV is the last man standing, crumbling alone and exposed against the ravages of time.
7. Because it doesn't get across the real you
You're a living, breathing person who's evolving every single day. Your CV, once you hit save, is just a snapshot in time – its only use is as a time capsule, for you to look back upon in a decade and laugh at how naive you seemed.
How the CV stayed alive this long into the digital age, we really do not know. But now – finally – it's well and truly dead.
8. Actually, there are no more points. Just dump it.
You know they have the internet on computers now, right?
Want to bury your CV in the cold ground once and for all?
Well you're in luck.
Our friends at Jobbio are running a CV scrappage scheme for two weeks only – you can email your CV to firstname.lastname@example.org, and being the amazing little worker bees that they are, they'll convert it into a bio for you, so you can connect with thousands of companies and apply for jobs with just one click.
Sponsored By Jobbio
At Jobbio, we don't believe in CVs – we believe in live, online bios that are easy to update and can let talent connect directly with companies and apply for jobs with one click.
Your online bio allows people connect with thousands of companies at one time – including the likes of Etsy, Paypal, eBay, Airbnb, Ryanair and Jameson to name but a few – so what are you waiting for?
Email email@example.com – for two weeks only – to get your CV turned from lead into gold!