6 Completely Valid Reasons To Ditch The Turkey This Year

Sorry, Dustin...

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Once a year, for some unknown reason, we all go to the effort of cooking a humungous bird that no-one particularly likes. I reckon it's time to put an end to the madness - let's all stop falling victim to turkey dinner peer pressure.  

So, here are six solid excuses to ditch the turkey next week - don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!

1. Turkeys ain't cheap

Why do we pay up to €60 for something we'll be trying to get rid of for days? 

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2. They're as dry as Ireland on Good Friday

A mouthful of turkey is as good as a handful of sandpaper.

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3. The skin is the only nice part

Like opening a beautifully wrapped present to discover coal inside.

Whole Turkey

4. You have to drench turkey in gravy for it to be even the slightest bit tasty

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5. It's a fucking trek to cook

Between 3 - 6 hours? 

Pocahontas Bye Felicia

6. Turkey is just chicken's lesser-liked cousin

Everybody loves chicken. Chicken for President!


So there you have it, turkey is rank and shouldn't be anywhere near our dinner tables next week.

End of. 

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