Once a year, for some unknown reason, we all go to the effort of cooking a humungous bird that no-one particularly likes. I reckon it's time to put an end to the madness - let's all stop falling victim to turkey dinner peer pressure.
So, here are six solid excuses to ditch the turkey next week - don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!
1. Turkeys ain't cheap
Why do we pay up to €60 for something we'll be trying to get rid of for days?
2. They're as dry as Ireland on Good Friday
A mouthful of turkey is as good as a handful of sandpaper.
3. The skin is the only nice part
Like opening a beautifully wrapped present to discover coal inside.
4. You have to drench turkey in gravy for it to be even the slightest bit tasty
5. It's a fucking trek to cook
Between 3 - 6 hours?
6. Turkey is just chicken's lesser-liked cousin
Everybody loves chicken. Chicken for President!
So there you have it, turkey is rank and shouldn't be anywhere near our dinner tables next week.