‘Not a drink to share with the family’ – American wine enthusiast reviews Buckfast

This Reddit thread is guaranteed to brighten up the Monday of any Bucky fan.

Usually accustomed to reviewing Château d’Armailhac and Napa Valley Cab Savs, an American wine enthusiast has taken to Reddit to share his thoughts on the cultural cornerstone that is Buckfast.

Approaching the fortified nectar of the ancient Monks as he would any other fine wine, user Acceptable_West_3871 removed the screw cap 30 minutes before dinner to ‘let it breathe’, and sampled a bit while cooking.

The sommelier then recounts his initial thoughts, describing Buckfast as “something I’ve never experienced before”. 

Poured into a glass, first glance has a very inky almost brownish color that you see in older wines. Very syrupy, liquid clings to the side of the glass when swirled. Almost 15% ABV.

Stuck my nose in and was hit with something I’ve never experienced before. Barnyardy funk (in a bad way) almost like a dead animal in a bird’s nest. A mix of flat Coca Cola and caramel with a whiff of gun metal.

On the palate, overwhelming sweetness and sugar. Cherry Cola mixed with Benadryl. Unlike anything I’ve tasted. I’m not sure what this liquid is but it is not wine, I’m actually not sure what it is but it tastes like something a doctor would prescribe. A chemical concoction of the highest degree. Can only compare it to a Four Loko.

Acceptable West adds that he tried to follow it up with “a nice Bordeaux“, but that “after but the iron-like metallic sweet aftertaste I just couldn’t get out of my mouth even after a few glasses of water“.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CUNyPjOKJLb/

Continuing to wax lyrical in a way that only a swill of Bucky can encourage, he writes:

An ungodly concoction made by seemingly godly men. I believe the Vatican needs to send an exorcist over to Buckfast Abbey as the devil’s works are cleary present there. After tasting this “wine,” the way I feel can only be described as akin to being under a bridge on one’s knees orally pleasing a vagrant while simultaneously drinking liquified meth through a dirty rag.

I’ve drank a lot of wines in my life and will never forget this one.

Tickled at the thought of someone taking this approach to drinking Buckfast rather than heedlessly chugging it in a field before promptly vomiting into a nearby bush, Bucky veterans took to the comments to offer advice.

“You’re not drinking Buckfast properly unless that dinner was given to you in a polystyrene box and you’re eating it under a bridge”, one user wrote.

“Yeah ur not supposed to drink it ur supposed to just close ur eyes and let it go down your throat”, another said.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWLiphmKrez/

The review has been delivered in such earnest that even Reddit reviewers haven’t had it in them to respond with anything hateful. Instead, they’re delightedly commenting that the thread has made their evening, and begging the reviewer to never delete the post. One user wrote:

Awh man, you’ve probably made a bigger impact on Ireland than any American in recent memory. We should try to get you a passport.