There’s nothing worse than a badly poured pint of Guinness.
A fact that Sh*t London Guinness knows all too well.
An Instagram account documenting the worst poured pints in London, it’s garnered quite the fanbase boasting an impressive 45.2k followers.
Set up by Ian, an Irishman in London, the page posts pictures showcasing some of the worst pints of plain around. And there are some truly diabolical specimens on show.
Don't believe me?
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My new years resolution is to learn how to reject a badly poured pint. It’s going to be a tough one. It’s a hard thing to look another human being in the eye and say “what you have done here is wrong, I will not accept it and you must try again.” Everyone makes mistakes. People get things wrong. Look at Isildur in Lord of The Rings. He had the chance to cast the ring into the fiery depths of Mount Doom but he made a mistake and decided it was class and something that should be kept. And sure look - that ended up alright in the end I suppose. I must be strong. I cannot sit in my ivory tower of bad pint posts and not be out there rejecting them myself. I hope you can all support me in my challenge. All the best. submitted by @roderickmcmorrow
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I’ve been asked recently why a pint of Guinness is sometimes referred to as a ‘pint of plain’. It all started with big man Brian O’Nolan. Brian was a lot of things - a novelist, playright, satirist, poet and absolute Irish legend. Writing under the pseudonym Flann O’Brien, Brian produced, amongst others, the phenomenal novels ‘At Swim-Two-Birds’ and ‘The Third Policeman’. I’d encourage everyone to read them - They’re class and major pieces of Irish literature. Anyway - a ‘pint of plain’ is a reference to his famous poem ‘The Workman’s Friend’. “The Workmans Friend" When things go wrong and will not come right, Though you do the best you can, When life looks black as the hour of night - A pint of plain is your only man. When money's tight and hard to get And your horse has also ran, When all you have is a heap of debt - A pint of plain is your only man. When health is bad and your heart feels strange, And your face is pale and wan, When doctors say you need a change, A pint of plain is your only man. When food is scarce and your larder bare And no rashers grease your pan, When hunger grows as your meals are rare - A pint of plain is your only man. In time of trouble and lousey strife, You have still got a darlint plan You still can turn to a brighter life - A pint of plain is your only man. RIP big man Flann. He would be ashamed of the pictured pint. photo submitted by @jimmy_fatchef_patel
Plenty more to choose from, I'm afraid (follow @shitlondonguinness for further proof).
Wanting to commemorate the account in some way, Ian teamed up with Irish illustrator Stephen Heffernan (also known as Hephee), to come out with these deadly t-shirts and hoodies.
An ode to the least impressive pints you ever did see.
Throw on one of these bad boys and you’ll be feeling (and looking) good as hell.
(Header image: @hephee on Instagram)